When Cassandra graduated from elementary school, she felt that the next step—secondary school—would be easy. You know, a real piece of cake. After all, she had good grades, wore the newest clothes, was class president as well as a cheerleader, and she had lots of friends. Everyone wanted to be around her. When Cassandra did something, anything, the kids would come up to her and say, “How was it? Did you have fun? Tell all!”
Being the center of attention not only made Cassandra feel important, it encouraged her to take on more responsibilities and accomplish more and more. And each time she increased her activity, her popularity with her classmates grew. Cassandra began to feel, you know, special. And always her mom was there, smiling at the door as she went off to school, offering her support in so many ways.
But one day, things took a dramatic turn. While crossing the street near school, a car ran a red light and struck Cassandra in the crossing lane. She ended up in a wheelchair, unable to walk for months. She also suffered facial cuts that left her looking unlike the beautiful girl she once was. And with two broken arms, doing homework seemed difficult, if not impossible. Each day involved doctor visits, treatments at home, and a lot of pain.
Cassandra’s whole world was shattered. Gone were the admiring crowd of friends, the top grades, those glances in the mirror than confirmed her good looks, and the numerous school activities that had won her so much admiration. Oh, at first, right after the accident, there were lots of calls and visits, and everyone expressed friendship and regard for her. But then the visits became fewer and fewer, and all people could talk about was the accident. They looked restless and bored when they visited her.
She didn’t want people’s pity. She felt like shouting out at them, “I’m the same person I always was inside! I guess you only liked what I was on the outside! But the inside is the real me—and I’m still here!”
More and more, she was alone.
Except for her family. Cassandra had always taken them for granted, but now they became like gold to her. They really loved her and wanted to take care of her in her time of difficulty. Not only her mom and dad and brothers and sisters, but her aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews, grandparents—even some relatives she never heard of—showed up at the house frequently to help out, to spend time with her, and to bring her little treats to brighten her day. Not a day went by when someone didn’t show up with a little surprise.
Even though her accomplishments came to a halt, Cassandra never felt as loved and valued as she did when her relatives applauded her halting progress toward recovery, when they didn’t mind the cuts on her face, when they understood how helpless she was and didn’t mind helping her—in other words, when they accepted her lovingly for who she was, even if she was injured. From that time on, she realized how precious were the people who loved her truly—for what she was inside. That part of her had never changed, and neither would their love.
Questions for reflection
1. Why do people feel “special” when they receive as much attention as Cassandra did?
2. What make you feel special? Is it one thing, or many things?
3. How long does that special feeling last? What makes it stop?
4. If you were in an accident like Cassandra, what would your reaction to it be?
5. Do you think Cassandra went back to her old way of thinking about her accomplishments once she healed from her injury? Why, or why not?
6. If you were visiting Cassandra at home when she was injured, what would you tell her to cheer her up?
Exercise
Imagine someone you admire very much. It can be a classmate, schoolmate, or a movie or singing star. Imagine him or her at the very top of beauty, accomplishment, and power. Now imagine the person in Cassandra’s situation—accidentally injured, in a wheelchair, probably having to be helped to go to the bathroom, and unable to do all the things you used to admire about him or her. What do you feel toward the person now? Do you think you would soon forget about the person? Do you think the person is still the same inside as they were before the accident? Do you feel he or she still has the same value as before the accident?
Cassandra's story
Table of Contents
Being the center of attention not only made Cassandra feel important, it encouraged her to take on more responsibilities and accomplish more and more. And each time she increased her activity, her popularity with her classmates grew. Cassandra began to feel, you know, special. And always her mom was there, smiling at the door as she went off to school, offering her support in so many ways.
But one day, things took a dramatic turn. While crossing the street near school, a car ran a red light and struck Cassandra in the crossing lane. She ended up in a wheelchair, unable to walk for months. She also suffered facial cuts that left her looking unlike the beautiful girl she once was. And with two broken arms, doing homework seemed difficult, if not impossible. Each day involved doctor visits, treatments at home, and a lot of pain.
Cassandra’s whole world was shattered. Gone were the admiring crowd of friends, the top grades, those glances in the mirror than confirmed her good looks, and the numerous school activities that had won her so much admiration. Oh, at first, right after the accident, there were lots of calls and visits, and everyone expressed friendship and regard for her. But then the visits became fewer and fewer, and all people could talk about was the accident. They looked restless and bored when they visited her.
She didn’t want people’s pity. She felt like shouting out at them, “I’m the same person I always was inside! I guess you only liked what I was on the outside! But the inside is the real me—and I’m still here!”
More and more, she was alone.
Except for her family. Cassandra had always taken them for granted, but now they became like gold to her. They really loved her and wanted to take care of her in her time of difficulty. Not only her mom and dad and brothers and sisters, but her aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews, grandparents—even some relatives she never heard of—showed up at the house frequently to help out, to spend time with her, and to bring her little treats to brighten her day. Not a day went by when someone didn’t show up with a little surprise.
Even though her accomplishments came to a halt, Cassandra never felt as loved and valued as she did when her relatives applauded her halting progress toward recovery, when they didn’t mind the cuts on her face, when they understood how helpless she was and didn’t mind helping her—in other words, when they accepted her lovingly for who she was, even if she was injured. From that time on, she realized how precious were the people who loved her truly—for what she was inside. That part of her had never changed, and neither would their love.
Questions for reflection
1. Why do people feel “special” when they receive as much attention as Cassandra did?
2. What make you feel special? Is it one thing, or many things?
3. How long does that special feeling last? What makes it stop?
4. If you were in an accident like Cassandra, what would your reaction to it be?
5. Do you think Cassandra went back to her old way of thinking about her accomplishments once she healed from her injury? Why, or why not?
6. If you were visiting Cassandra at home when she was injured, what would you tell her to cheer her up?
Exercise
Imagine someone you admire very much. It can be a classmate, schoolmate, or a movie or singing star. Imagine him or her at the very top of beauty, accomplishment, and power. Now imagine the person in Cassandra’s situation—accidentally injured, in a wheelchair, probably having to be helped to go to the bathroom, and unable to do all the things you used to admire about him or her. What do you feel toward the person now? Do you think you would soon forget about the person? Do you think the person is still the same inside as they were before the accident? Do you feel he or she still has the same value as before the accident?